How To Get Your Weird Coworker To Leave You Alone

You’re trying to get your weird coworker to leave you alone. 

You may have tried being short with them and hoped that they would get the hint.

Perhaps you’re not sure what to do, as you’re a firm believer in not bullying anyone and you don’t want to cross a line.

No matter where you are in the process of getting this weird coworker to leave you alone, let me guide you through some steps that may help you out of this painful situation.

You want your place of work to be somewhere you don’t dread stepping into.

Being Honest To Yourself – Step One

I’m a firm believer in being honest with everyone.

With that being said, believe me when I say that many people in my life have annoyed me.  If I had told these people exactly how I felt, I would have immediately turned into the bad guy. I have to filter my thoughts somewhat because I would be a forever bitch if I didn’t.

If this is the first time you are reaching out to your weird coworker, you may be unsure how they will take your honest opinion of what they’ve been doing to you.

So I suggest you start with a list so you can get your thoughts out.

Create a list of the following:

• How your coworker makes you feel
• If you’re having difficulty getting your work done because of this coworker
• Specific things your coworker says that are driving you insane (or perhaps they are hurtful to you on some level)
• How you feel when your coworker nears you in the office
• Any non-verbal actions that your coworker may have done that you find offensive or annoying in some way
• If there are any, write down any work related tasks that you have to specifically work with this coworker on
• Anything you may have done to try to stop your coworker previously
• Write down the answer to: “If I could get it all out, I would say this”

It’s important to know how you truly feel before making the next step.

Once you have your list, read through it a few times.

The goal here is to know exactly how you are feeling without any hesitation.

Blow The Weird Coworker Off – Step Two

For some people, a hint is enough to steer them in the opposite direction. For extreme cases, it takes getting help.

However, I strongly suggest first trying to baby step your approach to getting this weird coworker to leave you alone.

Ultimately, you’re most likely going to have to keep working with this person. Unless you consider what is going on harassment (which I’ll touch on later), start by taking your approach slowly.

Try blowing them off. Politely let the weird coworker know that you’re busy.

Train them to believe that each time they approach you, you’re busy with deadlines or work related obligations and you do not have the time to listen to them.

Again, start off easy and then get to the point where you’re immediately telling them that you would like to focus on work.

You’re testing the weird coworker to see if this small, polite pushback causes them to stop coming around you. If it works, this was the easiest out ever. You weren’t rude, but you trained them into thinking that you are off limits.

Confronting The Weird Coworker – Step Three

You tried stopping this as nicely as you could and they just keep coming back. This weird coworker won’t take the hint.

It’s time for a talk.

We’re not here to embarrass anyone, so this re-alignment talk should be held somewhere privately when you both have a few free moments.

Go back to your list that you made earlier and make sure you know exactly how you feel.

Take the below conversation and use it as a guide to create your own:

I want to concentrate more on my daily tasks. You come to me throughout the day with things that aren’t relevant to what I’m doing and it’s really bothering me. I don’t want to come off as rude, but I want you to work on your own tasks. If it’s something work related that we need to tackle together, I’m willing to jump into a conversation with you. 

However, I want to concentrate on myself and my career. I would like it if we kept our relationship to strictly business only. If this hurts you in some way, I apologize, but I am not comfortable with any communication with you that does not involve business.

Every office dynamic is different. If you feel you need to run this talk by boss, do so. They should support you.

I will say that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and getting some outside guidance from a superior may help you significantly.

One thing I would do is document the talk after you have it. If you’re confronted later, you’ll know exactly what you said. Avoid personal attacks, name calling, or flat out being rude. 

You’re the good guy here just trying to get this weird coworker to leave you alone.

Outside Help – Step Four

Did you try training your coworker to leave you alone and it failed?

Did you then try to have a sit down talk that revealed all your feelings and that failed as well?

Now it’s time to get someone else involved.

It’s time to reach out to your boss and possibly their boss if it’s not the same individual.

If you’re worried about being the “mean girl” in this situation, don’t be. If you are already identifying this person as a weird coworker for some reason, most likely they have issues with other people in your office that you may or may not know about.

What you’re doing is taking a stand and attempting to create a working environment where you can thrive and be the most productive. Why would HR or your boss fault you for the that?

Weird Coworker Vs Harassment

I’m not going to touch on this too much.

What I will say is that only you know what you’re feeling. If you feel like this coworker is showing signs of stalking behavior or you’re feeling uncomfortable in some way, that’s completely different than being annoyed.

If you worry for your safety at all, it’s time to reach out for help. Make a visit to Human Resources without hesitation.

For more on this, visit LinkedIn’s article 5 Signs You’re Being Harassed at Work.

Final Thoughts On Getting A Weird Coworker To Leave You Alone

This article would have been written completely differently if it were more than just one person bothering you.

Dealing with mean girls in the workplace or toxic work environments are completely different conversations.

I’ve been able to change the way someone treats me by simply training them as to what my boundaries are.

With time, you’ll learn when a nudge is enough or when you need to push a little harder. 

For whatever reason, this weird coworker feels that they have the right to be in your space. You are very capable, without bullying, to shift their mindset in the opposite direction.