Advertisements are constantly flashing before our eyes. Our social media is blasted with friends and celebrities showing us what they have that is absolutely fabulous.
You want it all. You are constantly feeling like what you have isn’t good enough and you want the best. The only thing holding you back is the available money you have.
I saw a Facebook post the other day from a friend that purchased two extremely expensive cars – matching cars for her and her husband in different colors. Everyone was replying with “Wow!” and “Those are amazing!”. I, on the other hand, was judging how much those two vehicles set her back. Yes, I liked her post anyway because I’m her friend.
This isn’t an article about judging others and what they choose to spend their money on. Shame on me. What I am trying to point out is the fact that I was never, for even a second, thinking “my car isn’t nearly that nice. I need something better” because I don’t.
You want to stop wanting more than you can afford. You have identified that you have a problem and it’s impacting your life. Change is what you’re after.
The next step is adjusting the way you are thinking. You are strong enough to refocus your thoughts.
Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome outside influence. Let’s go through some suggestions to get you on track.
First – You Have To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I think this sounds harsh, but everyone is going to flaunt the best things that they have. It’s what they do. They want others to compliment what they have put their money into.
Don’t fall into this trap. Be humble and do not feel like you need to show off your possessions.
What you are showing off on the outside is not a reflection who you are on in the inside. That $100,000 car your friend is blasting on social media could have cost more than they have in their retirement accounts.
Make the decision that you are not going to compare yourself to others. What they have is not what you need. No one needs a $100,000 car or a $1,000 pair of shoes.
If the girls at the office all carry $2,000 purses and you’re embarrassed to take in anything less, you have to change your mindset. Be you. Do not feel like not having that purse means that you won’t fit in. If others will judge you because of an item you carry – they are not friends that you need.
Let’s Brainstorm
Something triggered you to stumble upon this article. Be proud of yourself for looking to make a change.
We are going to think of ways to shift your thinking and become more productive. I suggest completing the following exercise on paper or in a separate window.
Write down the questions and your personal answer to each of the following:
- What did I see in the last few days that I really wanted?
- Looking back, did I need any of those items?
- Why did I want the items?
- Why do I want items I can’t afford?
- Is there someone in particular I am trying to impress?
- Is there anyone in my life that is a bad influence on my money making decisions?
- What am I thankful for that is currently in my life?
- My job and the money I bring home week after week?
- My home, my clothing, my car?
- Friends and family?
Thank about what you wrote. Do any problem areas stand out to you?
Mental Shift
Instead of seeing what you can have, appreciate what you do have. Be thankful for the items in your life that get you through each day.
Appreciate that money you have coming in and be thankful. Be thankful for the home you have, your friends and family, the things that matter the most.
Act humble.
Be proud of the home that you’ve purchased, the car that gets you where you need to go, the fact you can afford to pay for your utilities and cell phone.
You need to make the mental shift from wanting to appreciating.
Focus your energy and money on what your personal goals are for yourself. What are your goals for the future?
Take a moment now to think about the items of necessity that you own and appreciate what you have. Is your car as expensive and fancy as the one your friend posted on Instagram? No, perhaps not. But who cares? You have a car that gets you where you need to go each day. Do you have a car that is paid off (or a cheaper car note) which allows you to concentrate on other things? Hopefully. I’m thankful for my car. Furthermore, I’m thankful that I can pay for this gas I’m about to purchase so I can take my children to the zoo.
Let’s add to what we already wrote down. We’re going to write things down that we can concentrate on to refocus our energy. These items are going to be very specific to you and what your future goals are. The below are examples of what your new focus could be.
Write The Following:
I am going to start using my energy to focus on:
- Going back to college or earning a certification in my field that could potentially increase my earnings.
- Take on a side gig that I love. What do I love doing? Could I turn a hobby into creating more income?
- I’m going to focus on eliminating my debt and these are the steps I’m going to take.
- I am going to stop caring what others have and start caring about what is already mine.
- I’m going to spend more time with my family and focus on the time I have with them, as it is not forever.
- I’m going to start focusing on the positive in social media.
- Cheer on my friends/family when they accomplish things.
- Read more articles/stories that are focused on making me better.
- Invest in myself. Not objects or belongings.
Concentrate On What Matters To You
If saving up for retirement (or saving for college, or saving for a home, etc…) is what you want to focus your efforts on, shift your thinking.
Create a spreadsheet or a notebook at home. Write down what your current retirement (or other) savings is. Instead of spending time dreaming about the things you could own, spend this time researching and making a game plan for your future.
We spend so much time on social media when we have a moment to ourselves. Can you shift that? Could you shift it to journaling and making plans for your future?
Additionally, could you spend this valuable time doing something to improve your life? Think about using this time to invest in yourself.
Friends/Family On Board
Share your decision to stop wanting more than you have. Be vocal about refocusing your energy to gain support of those you love.
Tell your close friends and family of your new thought process. You are going to start appreciating the things that you have instead of always wanting more. You are going to replace things when it’s necessary to replace – not replace because you saw something you liked better.
Let them know that you would appreciate their support and encouragement. While you are not asking that they change, you are asking that they’ll support you in the decision that you have made to become more financially aware of what you’re spending on.
Surround yourself with people who do not pressure you financially.
What Else Can Help You Succeed
Your mind has most likely been on auto-wanting pilot for a while now. Shifting this way of thinking is not an overnight project.
You will be able to start catching yourself when you feel the “want” starting to come on. Identify it early and start shifting your thinking. It will become easier.
If you find yourself falling back into old feelings, try the following:
- Take out a journal and start writing.
- Read a book or an article on investing.
- Take deep breaths. Think about the things that matter most to you.
- Think of all the things that you are thankful for in your life.
Smile and appreciate yourself when you identify that the shift has started and you’re no longer wanting. Share your success with those that you love.
Again, it will take time to refocus, but you can and I’m confident you will!
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